Underwear drawer safest hiding place

Date: 23/08/2005
Source: TheTimesHerald
Author:

What is it about an underwear drawer that makes us believe things hidden in it are invisible to thieves?

I'm not sure, but I know I'm not the only one who keeps valuables nestled between his or her unmentionables. It's as if we believe a desperate thief pillaging our home will stop cold when he yanks open the drawer of crispy folded tightie whities (or in my case, lacy silkies). He'll screech in embarrassment, turn red in the face, slam the drawer shut and move on to the less personal shirt drawer.

You may not use the same trick, but no doubt you've come up with a few of your own clever ideas to foil thieves.

How many times have you slipped your wallet into your shoe at the beach thinking "Surely no one will think to look in there"?

I grew up going to Floridian beaches, and you wouldn't believe how many friends assured me their wallets were safer in the toe of their shoe than inside my locked car.

Whenever I didn't want to lock up my car, I usually felt safe jamming my billfold under the car seat or covering it with a stray piece of litter. It works on the out-of-sight, out-of-mind theory and the assumption someone stopping to steal a car would not pause to pick up trash.

Recently, I heard about a couple who figured they could buy themselves some time just by confusing a thief. They have two doors to their house with two different locks. Like a lot of people, they leave a key hidden near the door in case they lock themselves out. But here's the brilliant part: they SWITCH the keys.

Can't you just picture a flustered thief struggling with the wrong key? He won't do it for long. At least, not if they have any large rocks lying nearby.

My grandmother is the most paranoid person in the world. She doesn't even trust security companies. She believes the installation process really is an elaborate scam to get inside her house and case her valuables (if you consider a massive salt and pepper collection valuable). So, she came up with her own system. She jams a spool of thread under the screen door latch, sets a brick against the inside of the main door and uses a piece of wood to lock the sliding glass door into place.

Whenever I come over, it takes her five minutes to dismantle her system so I can come in. I'm just grateful she doesn't use the stacked aluminum cans trick in front of the door. That would add another 10 minutes for sure.

Online stores know our preference to cheap homemade security. One offers fake video cameras and signs that warn of nonexistent burglar alarms. Another offers an alarm that sounds like a barking dog.

I've read enough stupid- crook stories to know the criminal mind isn't always sharp. That's why I'm certain my Canadian coin collection is safe in my underwear drawer. (I'm also hoping crooks don't read newspapers).

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